Better than what?

Sometimes you wonder what would have happened if you had made a different decision somewhere down the line.

You picture these scenarios where you did one small thing differently and you're flourishing and happy and beautiful and rich. And you picture these scenarios where you're miserable and your bad choices snowball into a total wreck. And with these scenarios in mind, your life seems kind of mediocre.

Mediocre? Is that good enough? But what about that first scenario where you're so happy and everything is perfect? Why couldn't that have happened? And you're sad because you obviously made the wrong choices. But then again, you didn't end up in that hell-hole of a second scenario. So does that mean you made the right choice?

So many choices. You could go crazy thinking of all of the things you could have done differently. How you could have been better.

But eventually you have to admit that life doesn't have a rewind button, and it's not one of those create-your-own-story books where you can go back and change your mind.

That's something I've had to do. I have to say, "Hey, Susie, you did what you did. It wasn't right and it wasn't wrong because there isn't always a right or wrong. So stop looking back and start dealing with what's in front of you."

And then I take a breath and say, "You're right, self." Well, as right as you can be when there is no right and wrong. So then I say, "You're helpful, self." That's better.

I am where I am because I did what I did. And some hard things came from it. But I dealt with them. And some really great things came from it. And that's fantastic! I love those great things.

With all that said, I'm looking forward, with those great things in my pocket cheering me on and those hard things in my backpack to remind be where I've been. What's next?